What’s all this talk about the five love languages? Let’s find out below. And, look out as well for a FREE five love languages worksheet!
Why the Five Love Languages are Important
“I don’t feel that he loves me! He’s not exerting effort on me!”
“I’m doing my best, but it doesn’t seem to be enough! I don’t know what else to do!”
If these lines are familiar to you, they are to me and my husband Natz as well. This is why we know how important it is to show love using the five love languages.
When we were starting off with our relationship, there was conflict or misunderstanding in terms of how love is expressed and received. After a long day at work, Natz would be such a sweet boyfriend by buying me a cup of Dakasi milk tea (my favorite!) and drop it off at my house (which is not at all along the way)…and yet I’d still complain that he doesn’t spend enough time with me. I’d be a supportive girlfriend–assisting Natz with his homework and giving him pasalubong & baon whenever possible…and yet he’d feel so unloved even with just one little nag from me. It was crazy. We were fighting almost everyday, and had thoughts if it was even worth sticking to the relationship.
The five love languages is not a new concept, nor is it something that we invented. It’s been around for a while and Natz & I already knew about it in theory, but we failed to put it to full use so as to help our relationship.
We don’t want that to happen to you, so we are here to help give some advice on how you can show love using the five love languages. (And this is why we’re also giving out a five love languages worksheet FOR FREE at the end of this blog post!)
What are the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five ways that we express and experience love. Similar to how we all mean the same thing when we say “one” (English), “uno” (Spanish), “isa” (Filipino), “hana” (Korean), we can mean “love” but just have different ways of showing it.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
- Expressing love and appreciation through verbal communication or written language.
- This is likely your language if you enjoy: compliments, love notes, encouragement, thank you’s
- Showing thoughtfulness and effort by giving tangible things that express that “I care” and that “I’m thinking of you”
- This is likely your language if you enjoy: small tokens, surprise during special days, someone remembering & giving your favorites
- Uninterrupted and focused time together for conversations or shared experiences with undivided attention.
- This is likely your language if you enjoy: one-on-one time, date nights, special moments, doing things with one another
- Loving non-sexual touch to show closeness, presence and concern (if recepient allows)
- This is likely your language if you enjoy: a back rub, a friendly kiss, holding hands, a long hug, having someone’s arms on your shoulder
ACTS OF SERVICE
- Actions that inted to help lessen the burden or the responsibility, and assist with tasks at hand
- This is likely your language if you enjoy: having some help you with chores and errands, getting pampered, hearing “let me help you with that”
How full is your love tank?
So, how do the love languages apply to our relationships? It is said that each has his/her own ‘love tank’. Just a car’s gas tank, the state of our ‘love tank’ impacts how we function. As we go through life, our ‘love tank’ gets slowly depleted due to passing of time and the love already being ‘used up’ in our day to day lives and even as we love others.
On the other hand, our ‘love tank’ is filled by any form of love expression — though some of them may not be as impactful if not your desired RECEIVING LOVE LANGUAGE. If your primary receiving love language is met however, your ‘love tank’ gets refilled greatly.
If the said love tank is full, we feel love and appreciated. If the said love tank runs on empty though, we feel unloved and neglected. This is why it is very important to know our partner’s love language (check this post to know how to do it without asking)–so that we can make sure that they DO feel our love.
At the end of this post, we have a free love language worksheet that you can use to track how full your own love tank is, and how much effort you are exerting to make your partner’s love tank full as well.
How can I show love using the five love languages in my relationship?
The great thing about this concept of the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES is that it doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships. You can also put it to good use for your family or your friends. (In fact, this is what we encourage you to do in the five love languages worksheet at the end of the post!)
We suggest the process below to show love using the five love languages. The FREE five love languages worksheet at the end of this post may also help you with tracking your progress in this regard.
- Let your love tank be filled by love from the Lord first. It’s important that He is your primary source of love–and not your partner or loved one. Your relationship with the Lord is the MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP YOU SHOULD HAVE.
- Know your giving and receiving love language, and share this with your partner/loved one.
- Know your partner/loved one’s giving and receiving love language.
- Seek to appreciate efforts by your partner/loved one to express love towards you in their giving love language.
- Seek to express love towards your partner/loved one in their desired receiving love language.
Practical Examples of Showing Love Based On The Five Love Languages
Below are some suggestions and ideas on how you can show love to someone based on their love language. You can get a downloadable and printable version of it as part of the five love languages worksheet at the end of the post.
Pandemic update! Are you a wife stuck in ‘lockdown’ with your husband? Here are other ideas particular to your situation:
Free Love Language Worksheet
We hope that this helps you show love using the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES in your relationships! And, as a gift, we have a FREE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES WORKSHEET for you! Use this to help improve how you relate with others.
Here’s what you can find inside:
1. Stuff for you to answer and to track
2. A shorthand explanation of the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
3. Printable version of the ideas & suggestions for each love language!
Again, this five love languages worksheet is FREE for you to download! Just fill out the form below and CHECK YOUR EMAIL (esp. the SPAM folder!). Just please let us know if this helped you in anyway 🙂
Let’s keep on loving as God keeps on loving us!
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