Every Christian seems to be talking about making sure that our dating relationships are Christ-centered, but how is it really done? What does it really mean? Here are some tips and practical advice on how to put God in the center of your relationship.
How to Put God in the Center of Your Relationship
#1: Put your intimacy with God as top priority–as individuals and as a couple.
First things first. You cannot have a “Christ-centered relationship” if you are not living “Christ-centered lives” as individuals. To put God in the center of your relationship then, you have to give utmost importance to your walk with the Lord. Yes, it should be your #1 priority over everything else…even your romantic relationship.
- Check up on each another’s spiritual walk and prayer life.
- Be accountability partners in terms of reading your Bible and having regular devotion.
- Cut short dates if needed to save energy and time to have QT with the Lord.
- Encourage one another to have a deep and personal relationship with God, independent of the other person.
- Choose to sleep early on Saturdays to prepare you for church, rather than going on a date or talking on the phone ’til late-night.
#2: Choose God’s will over your own–as individuals and as a couple
There will be a lot of tough choices to make, but you have to be firm that you will choose God’s will over your own. This will apply across various aspects of life — be it with your career, your family, your ministry, your finances, your friendships, and your relationship itself.
- When quarreling, avoid the temptation to go on social media. Go on your knees in prayer and seek wisdom from God’s Word.
- Give back to God as your form of thanksgiving (tithe!)
- Be generous especially towards His Kingdom. Would that expensive gift exchange or those frequent high-end dates really be more God-glorifying than sharing your resources with others?
- Choose friends who share the same values as you. Avoid bad company!
- Honor your parents — no sneaking out, lying, etc.
- Honor God with your body — keep yourself pure and avoid physical intimacy before marriage!
- Desire God more than fame, fortune, or success — don’t be too obsessed with work, business, higher education, or even money
- Prioritize God even over your future family — if you’re engaged, start talking about how you will put God first when you start your own family
- Ask God for His mission for your relationship (“why did you allow us to be together?”) and fulfill what He wants you to do! (For example, for us – we believe we are called to minister to other young adults who are either single or in a relationship. That’s why we have this blog.)
#3: Get connected with God’s people
Loving God involves loving His Body–which is the church. You can’t say that you’re putting God in the center of your relationship when you’re detached from a spiritual community who can help you grow as individuals and as a couple.
- Spend your time and use your skills for service in God’s Kingdom — prioritize serving others in a ministry!
- Find mentors you can be accountable to — especially with your struggles as a couple.
- Connect with a small group who can do life with you. (Better if the girl can get grouped with other ladies, and the guy with other gentlemen.)
- Involve your pastor in your relationship — not to make decisions for you, but to help share wisdom from God. (Added bonus: They get to pray for you ’cause your relationship’s not hidden!)
- Don’t be in a bubble! Be active in the church, join fellowships and connect with others.