Every Christian seems to be talking about making sure that we have a Chris- centered dating relationship, but how is it really done? What does it really mean? Here are some tips and practical advice on how to put God in the center of your relationship. We hope this gives you a real view on what a Christ-centered relationship looks like.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Who doesn’t want to have a Christ-centered dating relationship? All over social media — even in Christian communities — we all root for Godly relationships. We look up to couples who seem to show us what a Christ-centered relationship looks like. After all, we see that they’re both “active” Christians, they say the right things, and seem to have it all together online. They must be masters of how to put God in your relationship right?
We’re not saying that those “Godly relationships” you look up to are all fake–none can be perfect, us included! However, there’s is so much more to letting God guide your relationship than online posts or attending church.
Remember:
A Christ-centered dating relationship is NOT AUTOMATIC for Christians.
Below are some practical ways on how to have a Godly dating relationship that goes beyond what we think what a Christ-centered relationship looks like on the surface.
How to Put God in the Center of Your Relationship
#1: Put your intimacy with God as top priority–as individuals and as a couple.
First things first. You cannot have a “Christ-centered dating relationship” if you are not living “Christ-centered lives” as individuals. To put God in the center of your relationship then, you have to give utmost importance to your walk with the Lord. Yes, it should be your #1 priority over everything else…even your romantic relationship.
If you’re wondering what a Christ-centered relationship looks like, then to put it simple: it is one where two individuals first and foremost live Christ-centered lives!
As you keep Christ at the center of your individual lives, this will overflow as well into your being a couple, and you will be able to love as God loves you.
Practical tips on how to put God in the center of your relationship:
- Check up on each another’s spiritual walk and prayer life.
- Be accountability partners in terms of reading your Bible and having regular devotion.
- Cut short dates if needed to save energy and time to have QT with the Lord.
- Encourage one another to have a deep and personal relationship with God, independent of the other person.
- Choose to sleep early on Saturdays to prepare you for church, rather than going on a date or talking on the phone ’til late-night.
What does a Christ-centered dating relationship look like? Well, you are able to put God in the center of your relationship only when you put Him in the center of your life.
Remember: You should have no business worrying about how to put God in your relationship, when you have not first of all truly acknowledged Him in your life. If you have not believed in Jesus as your Lord and Savior yet, check out this post.
#2: Choose God’s will over your own–as individuals and as a couple
If you really want to put God in the center of your relationship, take note of this: There will be a lot of tough choices to make, but you have to be firm that you will choose God’s will over your own. The key is really letting God guide your relationship! This will apply across various aspects of life — be it with your career, your family, your ministry, your finances, your friendships, and your relationship itself.
Instead of seeking advice from friends immediately, consult God — especially when it comes to decisions or relational issues.
Practical tips on how to put God in the center of your relationship:
- When quarreling, avoid the temptation to go on social media. Go on your knees in prayer and seek wisdom from God’s Word.
- Give back to God as your form of thanksgiving (tithe!)
- Be generous especially towards His Kingdom. Would that expensive gift exchange or those frequent high-end dates really be more God-glorifying than sharing your resources with others?
- An often ignored key to a Christ-centered dating relationship is to choose friends who share the same values as you. Avoid bad company!
- Honor your parents — no sneaking out, lying, etc.
- Honor God with your body — keep yourself pure and avoid physical intimacy before marriage!
- Desire God more than fame, fortune, or success — don’t be too obsessed with work, business, higher education, or even money
- Prioritize God even over your future family — if you’re engaged, start talking about how you will put God first when you start your own family
- Ask God for His mission for your relationship (“why did you allow us to be together?”) and fulfill what He wants you to do! (For example, for us – we believe we are called to minister to other young adults who are either single or in a relationship. That’s why we have this blog.) More than asking what a Christ-centered relationship looks like, you should honestly really be more concerned about what your relationship’s purpose is! Less optics, more meaning 🙂
What does a Christ-centered relationship look like? Well, you are able to put God in the center of your relationship when you seek guidance from God through His Word and through the leading of the Holy Spirit when it comes to making choices and decisions in your relationship. Make sure that you are letting God guide your relationship. Don’t make it a last option!
#3: Get connected with God’s people
Loving God involves loving His Body–which is the church. You can’t say that you’re putting God in the center of your relationship when you’re detached from a spiritual community who can help you grow as individuals and as a couple. Ask anyone what a Christ-centered relationship looks like and they’d likely point to a couple who is so immersed in sharing life with others — growing, learning, and being together!
A Christ-centered dating relationship is one that does NOT seek to always look at each other, but one that looks to GOD and to OTHERS!
Practical tips on how to put God in the center of your relationship
- Spend your time and use your skills for service in God’s Kingdom — prioritize serving others in a ministry!
- Find mentors you can be accountable to — especially with your struggles as a couple.
- Connect with a small group who can do life with you. (Better if the girl can get grouped with other ladies, and the guy with other gentlemen.)
- Involve your pastor in your relationship — not to make decisions for you, but to help share wisdom from God. (Added bonus: They get to pray for you ’cause your relationship’s not hidden!)
- Want a Christ-centered dating relationship? Don’t be in a bubble! Be active in the church, join fellowships and connect with others.
What does a Christ-centered relationship look like? Well, you are able to put God in the center of your relationship when you get out of your ‘couple bubble’ and partner with brothers and sisters in God’s Kingdom!
Epilogue
To have a desire to put God in the center of your relationship is the FIRST STEP towards the right path. Now, it’s time to make conscious choices and decisions to put God first individually, to honor Him, obey Him & let God guide your relationship, and to plug yourself into the Body of Christ.
Who knows? Next time, when someone wonders what a Christ-centered relationship looks like, they’ll then be able to point to you two 🙂
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