Have you ever wondered what to do and what to say when a guy ignores you after an argument? We discuss in this post how to navigate around the “cold shoulder” treament, especially after a fight!
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The Issue With Ignoring Each Other After an Argument
It is quite common to hear stories of boyfriends and husbands who just ignore their partners after a fight. To avoid further discussion and all the talk from the girlfriends and wives, they’d rather just keep quiet and let things simmer down until the issue is just forgotten and things go back to normal.
At first it might seem good that the guy ignores you after an argument–because it avoids further clashes and exchange of harsh words. We are all for minimizing destructive quarrels! However, this becomes an issue when it becomes an excuse to just sweep issues under the rug. Instead of getting to the root cause of problems and addressing them, they are taken lightly and ignored. Sadly, and more often that not, this just lets the issue reoccur.
Why Does a Guy Ignore You After an Argument?
There are various reasons behind a guy ignoring you after an argument. According to research, which is basically via observation and inquiry with my own husband (haha!), here are a few:
1. Some just surrender completely because women can tend to have a reaction to everything
When a guy ignores you after an argument, consider if it’s because he’s resorted to ‘giving up’. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not exactly ‘giving up’ on you and the relationship. It’s just that some women (like me!) tend to hijack conversations. We ask our partners to speak after a fight, but when they do, it’s as if we’re in a rap battle and have a rebuttal for everything they say.
2. Some find it hard to compose themselves and their thoughts because they don’t want to be misinterpreted
When a guy ignores you after an argument, consider if it’s because he is having difficulty expressing himself. Is it just during fights that he keeps quiet, or do you observe this pattern even with other discussions?
3. Some feel guilty, and don’t like admitting their mistakes
When a guy ignores you after an argument, it might be because of pride. Most guys (and girls!) don’t like acknowledging that they did something wrong. Instead of facing the issue with humility, we sometimes let our guilt push other people away and point the blame to others.
4. Some men just don’t care completely about resolving stuff with their partner
What to Do When a Guy Ignores You After an Argument
If the guy’s reason for ignoring you after an argument is #3 or #4, then that’s a relationship red flag and you may want to get into a serious discussion about it.
Howver, when a guy ignores you after an argument because of reasons #1 and #2, then they guy may just need a little help. Ultimately, you will need to work together to learn how to best express opinions and emotions with one another. Remember: YOUR ROLE IS IMPORTANT!
While you cannot control what he says (or does not say), you can control what YOU say.
He may not actually want to ignore you after an argument, but you need to know the right thing to say to him. As most people say (since it’s true anyway), COMMUNICATION IS KEY. After all, based on our experience, if you push for men to talk or pressure them or get them on a guilt-trip, they’ll usually pull away even more & take the silent treatment route.
What To Say When a Guy Ignores You After an Argument
These are times when a generic “What’s your problem?” question won’t help. Instead of asking that, you can ask the following specific questions instead to help start with resolving your conflict when a guy just ignores you after an argument:
1 – What do you feel right now?
Instead of the accusatory tone of the “What’s your problem?” question, this approach shows your boyfriend/husband that you care about what he feels and not who’s winning the argument.
2 – In our argument, what caused you to be hurt?
This line of questioning again shows that you are concerned that he is hurt and that you’d like to find out what caused it. This shows that you care about his welfare and not just yours.
3 – What did I do that you did not like?
This is one of the most important questions to ask because it shows that YOU ARE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for your part of the fight. Some guys ignore their partners after an argument because they feel defeated and guilty. If we women own up to our own faults, then that would lessen the burden a bit on the men 🙂
And for the men out there, my husband appeals to all of you to please RESPOND 🙂 Please don’t be the guy who ignores their partner after an argument. Most women would prefer a response–which you can give in a calm and gentle manner. The truth is that this CAN be difficult. It CAN be hard to talk and face the situation you are in. But, if you want to rightfully address the issue and avoid your issues happening and happening again, then you need let the ladies in your life know what’s on your heart and mind.
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