Writing personal wedding vows has now become a big deal, especially with the rise of same-day edits and viral wedding videos. Here are 3 IMPORTANT tips that you need to take note of before you write your wedding vows.
Tips for Writing Wedding Vows
Tip #1: Share some history…but take it easy.
We’re writing this down as the first tip for writing your wedding vows – especially because this is something we’ve observed from Filipino / Tagalog weddings. Some couples tend to use the time for their vows to either share their entire love story or give a thank you speech to their soon-to-be spouse.
Sorry to burst your bubble but a vow is intended to be ‘a solemn promise’. Better to reserve your detailed couple history for a wedding video that can play while the guests are waiting, or maybe on a printout that you can leave on guests’ tables.
That said, it’s not that you should ENTIRELY leave out everything in your intro and just to straight to your promises. It’s actually good to start off your wedding vow with some context through a glimpse of your personal or couple history.
What can you talk about?
You can share about your personal history by answering some of these questions:
- What was your view on relationships and marriage before? How did that change upon meeting your soon-to-be spouse? Example: I used to think that relationships were not for me…
- What did you use to pray for in your life partner? Did that come true, or did God surprise you with a different love story? Example: I remember 10 years ago how much I prayed to be married to my best friend…
You can also share about your ‘couple history’ by answering some of these questions:
- What do you appreciate most about your soon-to-be spouse? Example: I used to think that someone who loves me should just accept me as I am, but your kindness and love to me has actually inspired to want to become a better man…
- How has the road been for you both to get to where you are now? Example: We’ve gone through hills and valleys and it was definitely not a walk in the park, but it was a walk to remember.
- What are you thankful for with your partner? Thank you for showing me how to…
Again, though it may be tempting to focus on this when writing your wedding vow, our tip: Keep it brief.
Tip #2: Make it personal.
One of the best things about writing your own wedding vows is that they can be made PERSONAL. Don’t be afraid to write something that’s uniquely you, or something very specific that it can even be an inside joke. Bonus: This would appreciated by your wedding guests especially if they are close to you as a couple & know your quirks!
- In my husband’s wedding vows – he included a quip about how he will be the one to take out the trash — which is an inside joke, since he knows how I’d love to do any other household chore except for touching garbage.
- In my vows – I included a quip about how I promise to listen to his music (The Corrs, Barry Manilow, etc) — which is another inside joke that friends are aware of, since we have different tastes in music.
Go ahead, be fun and quirky!
Tip #3: Say anything…but say what you mean.
Weddings are whimsical and can take you to an emotional high…but we’re here to ground you a little and encourage you to make your promises realistic…but still hopeful. Some tend to make vows that sound good but are quite impossible to meet:
- I promise NEVER to be mad at you.
- I promise that I will NEVER hurt you.
- I promise that I will ALWAYS be sweet with you and give you your needs.
Please raise your hand if you’re a person who can actually do those three things. No hands raised? Thought so.
Some things to make your statement more realistic:
- By God’s grace I will…
- I will do my best to….
While it’s so awwwww-inducing to promise the moon and the stars — nothing says mature and steady commitment like having wedding vows that are “realistically hopeful”.